bona fide childhood memories

I find myself gazing out my window

 & plainly just thinking about my childhood.

Times-

Times when all I cared about was that one precious 

thing.

Be it-

Be it a beat up & dirty toy but it didn't matter the state

What mattered-

what mattered was how significant it felt

whilst playing with it. 

Or that time-

Time when I felt my most freest self. 

Running around in circles and pretending to be an 

airplane or jumping from one chair to another; conquering

mountains and incredible heights I've never imagined ever before

Don't you ever just look at that moment again of your life

so far, far away 

but realizing it has always been close to you. 

It's symbiotic relationship

the 5 year old you & the older you

mountaintop (3)

Romans 12:1-2 The Message says: 
"So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you"

For a while I've felt distant from God. With all the things going around in my life plus the constant pressure peaking in me because of my studies, I can't help but waver. There were so many days when I completely forget to talk to Him and that my image of a good day suddenly just went grainy. 

On Mondays I attend bible study fellowship with my family wherein we seek God and His Word. This season we learn from Revelation, the last book of the Bible.  The first few chapters are about the Seven churches and how Jesus spoke to the individual angels of the said churches. He spoke about their deeds and how they are as a church. Looking at the scripture, my eyes became clear to how He commends  them but also gives multiple opportunities for them to repent. I realised that God is like an open door. He let's us experience what it's like to be "outside" in order for us to become aware of the fact that life is much better with Him. 

My relationship with God isn't perfect obviously. I am being sanctified every day. There are days when it really feels like I'm on top of the mountain and it's easy to praise and trust Him. But there are also times when it's actually a sacrifice to praise. Though, sometimes I fail to look at the bigger scale of His Will and why He allows bad circumstances to happen, I try to remind myself that my heart's song choice must always be to praise Him. 

It's difficult to be a responsible citizen of His kingdom and to live by the "rules". But God doesn't want us to get in trouble; He wants us to experience a life of fullness. We find blessings more appreciated if we know our limits and if we know that in those boundaries come blessings.  God's been speaking to me to go back to Him. And it amazes me that every time I walk away, He's just waiting for me to come back. He assures me that there is nothing in it for me in my old life that is rotten through and through and that I should always live on what is true. 

My life (in a list)

- experienced an hour without electricity
- watching a lot of videos about humanitarians
(also thinking about blogging about them!)
- listening to ready by kodaline
- posted something on https://medium.com/unknown-mountain-journey
- walking quite often
- finishing a portfolio
- reading harry potter and the order of the phoenix
- washing my face with cetaphil cleansing soap (tmi lol)
- danced for a flashmob on a concert

mountains (2)

I think of mountains as free spaces that I can glean on vicariously. Away from all the heaviness I might be hiding in me or from my negative thoughts piled up like swept leaves from the park that I brush off my shoulders quite likely every time.

Mountains, like any other thing, have a bad side and can be defined in many ways. They can be a spot to relax but also really complex. I'm facing a giant mountain at the moment. And I want to express myself so terribly but I seem to be used to keeping my frustrations under a rug and pushing them to the furthest place I can imagine. But this feeling comes back over and over again. And it's seems to be really inconvenient. When I feel like "yes finally I have reached the summit", what comes next is yet another mountain that I would have to climb once again.

Life is full of disappointments and a variety of unexplained realities that sometimes are unimaginable. . But my way to get by is to vividly remember how it's like to get to the peak- the gladness of overcoming something beyond me. These mountains are not much of trials as they are processes that many of us think wrongly of. Without them we would stagnate; We won't improve our well being.

Neither of us know what is up there unless we make a move on and convince ourselves to push when it's the hardest to do so.

//

Keanna, my marvelous friend, and myself are starting a publication called The Unknown Mountain Journey. I've always wanted a partner when it comes with trying to comprehend world issues and the complexity of human beings. The reason why we think it's such an amazing idea is because we just love exchanging opinions and questions. It would be like a place of fortitude for those who are looking for it.

More update on this soon!

//

CURRENTLY

-doing a lot of studying
-must say that my mind is clearer than a month ago
-trying to get out of my comfort zone
-listening to hold on by wilson phillips
-really loving mornings!
-practicing ukulele
-borrowing clothes from my brothers

7 hours in my room, comprising all things I've learned This school year in a bulging notebook,

The time is coming (dun dun duuunnnn), I have got to compile all my "learnings" and prepare a portfolio to present. My main theme, Shifting Paradigms and Individuality.  Please wish me luck. I am doing this alone. Like a responsible adult doing groceries or like a fisher because marine life is very abundant and relatively unlikely to eat him.

Okay making no sense,

My emotional capacity is exploding, at the moment. Presenting a portfolio isn't supposed to be nerve wracking right? Besides, the portfolio is MINE; Julia the PSYCHOPATH,

I remember this girl from school, she boldly presented a very strong portfolio. She said that you know you're doing it wrong when you're not completely happy about your work. Huge impact right there.


xx

Energy boost, please come along,

this feeling is like a long car ride

you don't know whether to put the windows

up or down

turn the radio volume up or down

waiting for a go signal when traffic jam has made
its decision to belong

the stretch you satisfyingly adore when the car stops
for gas and there's a convenient store making a thought cross your
mind to buy at least a bar of chocolate or two

the rain starts to pour and  your face becomes a part
of the gloomy weather,

you ask yourself
"why did i choose to take this path?"

but you still went on,
never stopped for you know that maybe something
out there is for you to reach

something out there can be yours as well

this life is one heck of a ride,
 sometimes we do not understand where it
takes us; most of the time, somewhere dark and
terrifying

there's a saying that goes "there is always a light at the
end of the tunnel"

truly there is.

"but where"

that's yours to deal. find it.
getting lost is alright. it prolongs the ride but it makes
your life the way it is right now, marvelously messy.

GO SEARCH FOR THE LIGHT, 

(rough)

"a mountain is what you see and feel it to be" (1)

two days ago:

I have never been on any mountain before. But I have heard and seen so many marvelous things about them. The way they were created and placed where they are evokes me for adventure. I am slightly in love with how they feel and keep still. Truly fascinating. This interest of mine started after reading countless articles and following variety of instagrams centering about art and their love for the mountains.

I forgot where I read this, probably Visual Strands, but it says that there is an enchanting and old world quality in mountains  that is easy to love but  hard to quantify and explain. I wrote this down on my handy notebook because I felt a lot of truth there. Coming from someone who hasn't experienced a bit of mountains, it's safe to say that there is absolutely something beneath the quiet of the mountains that catches ones soul.

Mountains cover 25% of this world. To some people they are home. Every now and then, I imagine myself up on a high mountain. The wind swooping all over the place and overseeing the city. Chirping birds and large trees everywhere. For me that's a nice calm practice when I'm a bit all over the place. I think mountains give out an indistinguishable premise. It's like the mountains serve as your security blanket. Truthfully, I wished there were more mountains around. Less cities and buildings. Our economy would be ten times better. I guess that's why a lot of people go hiking or rock climbing. Everyone, somehow, pursues escapism. And while, you're up there it feels as if recalling how surrounded you are with the entire spectrum of human emotions and for once, not care about it.

Today
(configuring and trying to refine thoughts to project the
supposed conclusion of this writing)


In this moment, I am feeling a bit of a total stuck up. When I woke up, I did my ordinary doings- toothbrushing, daily talk with God and breakfast eating. Seemed very ordinary. So no point really of appreciating it. But when I read the upper bit of this post, true enough, I again pictured myself up on a mountain. And I realised that everyone of us is experiencing a sequence of events that may never occur in that specific way ever again. It amazed me how that thought crossed my mind. Nowadays, we don't put in mind that we aren't placed here for an unknown reason. We have a purpose. Regardless of what others say because, honestly, we are all the same, subjectively. The way you respond to the circumstances you encounter today changes your tomorrows.

I know that, I was all talking about mountains. lol, I've casually shifted

In connection, the mountains don't think about what we can do for them. It is more of us thinking about what it can do for us. Similar to what we are almost always willing to do everyday. I'd like to think of mountains as friendly help. That when you don't have a clear mission, take time to think. Find your purpose. Be captivated. Don't lose passion. Just keep on doing what you love. You never truly know how much of a difference you've made in the world.

Good day xx

Look! An update!

Lately, I've been thinking about college

Gee

College is a very nice way to prepare us for the real deal...adulthood. In just a few years... you will officially be stepping into another adventure. The reason why I have this in mind is because I still have no clue what I want to take up,

I've always wanted to do something creative in life. Something that would make me want to go to work and not look forward to going home. There's also a part of me who wants to try something compelling- medicine, sociology, psychology

Ugh. I can't help but curl up with frustration. 

There are hundreds of majors I can choose from which, doesn't help; it makes it much harder that it already is. Let's be real.

I have a couple of concerns about my decision making. There are times when I'm so content and up in my happy place but there are also times when I make a wrong move. I don't want to screw up college by choosing the wrong course.

Pressure-cooker episodes. 

It's like seeing thousands of beautiful places but none of which evoking me to go there. Or like opening a collection of things wrapped in paper but not feeling anything. I want to be able to have my heart feel something on whatever I experience because without the emotions it's no use. I think that's why it's a tough job to pick from all the options in college. Or maybe I just don't know myself to the point where I don't know any real information about what I truly want to be?

masjdghasgf;

I'm almost out of the house so, I don't think I can continue on writing. I'll be back really soon.

read to when life sux

Greetings. I can't really speak for myself but I do know that sometimes, or maybe, a crack tons of times, life feels sucky. Sucky enough to casually say, it sux.

While I was scrolling through my twitter, which is an ordinary thing I do, I felt dull and bored. So I decided to change my background and do a little customization to somehow light up my soul.  As per usual, I find photos in my documents saved in this laptop. Continuing the story, I opened the documents and my folder got reformatted. During this particular time, I felt teary for I saved a lot of my own edited pics and what not in the folder. I didn't have backup or anything whatsoever. This happened to me before but this time it's much worse than it already is. It was very important to me. And it was hard to take in that I have, indeed, lost all of my files including a lot of notes for bloody chemistry and writing that meant a lot to me - writing during tough times and thoughts that I want to go back to, whenever. ALL GONE. Sigh.

I bought ice cream and walked and walked. It felt good. Outside is good. Nature is good. Fresh air is just what I needed.

I want to say that sometimes, I don't appreciate everything that is brought up to me, in my life. Having ever harbored that not each thing is supposed to be celebrated. Celebrate meaning noticed or gazed or consider. From now on, I would love to celebrate. Celebrate the feeling of  what I am having as a phase or circumstance. I am very enthralled with optimism. I like how it differs. I like what it promises. I like the feeling of it. I like how just the way it is defined.

Happiness manifests in a lot of things. Sometimes, life could be really dreadful but at the End of the day, it's still Good. It's still something that we all need to discover more. . I guess the key is, never trying to figure out everything.

Stay charming !!! Have a good day :)

THIS IS A LIST OF WHAT MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW
(inspired by ari mendoza)

-creating a new schedule that hopefully I would follow
-writing in my journal (about anything)
-drinking ginger juice which tastes horrible (daily: mornings)
-fixing my body clock. (bedtime: loosely 10PM-7AM)
-made a skype account for social purposes. (it's quite nice)
-trying to find a way to post as often
-editing random pics i find on tumblr.
-washing my hair every other day
-been talking a lot to myself lately
-reading aristotle and dante discover the secrets of the universe
-made a friend named Pog. -..- (this is he) (an imaginary pig friend)
-following a lot of instagrams that has a lot of kid photos
-i like the song turbulence by at the skylines
-also trouble by never shout never
-also cinderblock garden by all time low
-im feeling really good.
-studying still hurts and i have to finish everything this month

4. always at the edge of something greater

& I hope that you are as well as I am. Indeed, it has been a wonderful month. I came upon a lot of realisations and incredible mental breathers that strongly helped me contrive my way out of unlikely emotions and sad energies. I ain't complaining about them [sad emotions], in fact, I am grateful for them because they make me appreciate little happy things- it's correlative. When you tell yourself that today will be a good day, all your energy seem to cooperate. One positive energy will connect to another one until the pile gets bigger and you got yourself a mountain of smiles!!!

Recently, I started getting back on track with my studies and quite silly, I am still having a hard time with it. I feel a bit paranoid about deadlines & I actually have none of those. I feel like none of us ever have. Deadlines are just there to help us push through. And of course we have to take them seriously + cheerfully. Deadlines is just an idea. It's not something we should be scared about. Often times, I take them as funny little, sometimes, annoying reminders that tell me to understand that I have to finis a certain task. Not all tasks are easy. Some of them even out of our comfort zones but then tell yourselves that the sky is the limit for you. You can, you can, you can. So do it. And in a few while, out of genuine hard work, you'd get it done in no time!

As a kid, I always wanted to work creatively. I want to feel like I'm in my own quirky happy world. And I guess that will never change. I would always want to see between horizons and somehow find something good and authentic. The big question is when? Why wait til I grow up, right? I may not have the resources to take steps of what I vision but I can always start slow. Start with what I have. And collectively, enjoy what create.

If you really love what you do, I'm sure you won't mind the bumps and lumps. They might discourage you but no matter, yous should never stop at a certain point. Look forward and own it : )

3. take a vision and make it real

Today is a great day in so many different levels 

I was able to get my energy back to my studies. I'm currently studying Chemistry and... oh my goodness ! It's not overly boring or difficult but ahhh !!#@#$^%$& !!!! It's mind bending, both in the positive and negative way. But- 

I'm happy that I am not procrastinating (1/2 jk). But still, it took a lot of pushing to get myself to catch up. So that makes me happy : ) ) 

About 30 minutes ago, I was followed by this incredible girl on twitter, Rosie, who is raising up money to set up a Children's Home through challenges. One of my aims this month is to, as much as possible ,try, to take my hat down and salute movements, campaigns, charities etc. 

this is a snap of my conversation with Rosie ! you can follow her through her journey,
@fullreach on twitter : ) and if you can please help her out by
sponsoring ♥

I am easily inspired by people like her. They devote so much towards what they love doing. That makes me realise how I should live my life. This day will be remembered a lot because this impacted me in a lot of angles. 

It's time to live with bravery 

It's time to throw off hesitations

I love doing a lot of things but sometimes I experience much lines that I do not dare to cross because of fear. I have very low confidence on myself. I get discouraged when I receive criticisms and words that are against what I feel; what I do. But that's part of life. Most of time others won't understand what we're doing or why we're doing what we're doing. Life is what it is. It just depends on how you live it. 

Criticisms are actually helpful. It opens up space for you to improve on. It lights up spots that you should work on. Learn to accept them positively because they mean well. That's easier said than done because I know myself that I build immediate voids when I get criticisms. But that's something I'm utilizing in me. I hope you do as well : ) Practise to look them in a good way !!!!

When you're given a chance to speak; give criticisms or something, make sure you do it sincerely and do it because you want to help the individual and not to put them down. We're here to help build up each other. It is more effective when you positively commend them then state what they still have to work on then commend them again.

E.g. "You're doing such a great job ! I like your ideas so much though, I hope that you get to work on your productivity. You can use some of the time your devoting to making ideas to actualizing your goals for one idea. You're incredible, keep it up,"

That's something I learned because it's nice to somehow, sandwich the criticism with your positive statements so that he won't feel bad.

I have a lot of dreams in my life. 

In general, I just love looking forward. I like the feeling of being able to move forward- close to my dreams. Close to where I see my soul will be lifted. It's a nice feeling. 

But then, I'm not there yet. 

My prospect in life is to create a world of my own wherein I will be able to fizzle about my little thoughts and make something out of it. 

How do I get there? How do I reach that level of imagination? 

Set goals. Set goals. Set goals. It's always never too late. Paint down what you see. Look the seaside, remember what you see. 

Light the spark. Make it last. 

2. "life, passes you by- don't be wasting your time"

      I'm intermittent when it comes with living life, I admit. But I'm trying, as hard, to be active and get my energy up no matter what I'm facing. Be it just cleaning my bed or beating eggs for
breakfast. As a kid, I got asked a lot of times of what  wanted to be when I grow up. I always say a doctor or some sort of occupation. But at this point, I just want to live simply and happily. Of course, there is still a desire in me to work and experience having a job but I want to work on the present.

    Often times, I feel like being tossed around in ridiculous places with heavy baggage and I try to understand why I was brought there. I used to think that well this is what I have to deal with; this is how things work. But then this is my life. I have to make choices for myself. And sometimes the greatest decision in life is to let go. Let go of the painful things- voids, empty desires, even our pasts.

   Don't go throwing tantrums. Control control control.
It's weird how tantrum is defined as a something most "young kids" experience when I'm still having them. Come on, honestly, all of us. Tantrum is an outburst of frustrations! Not just for children....

   Anyway, the point is, instead of throwing a tantrum, learn to recognize your frustrations and don't let it get to you as much. Help yourself.  You'd feel much much better.

   Envision envision envision.
then let it happen. Cultivate. Describe yourself with few words and cut their definitions out. So you would know yourself even better.

+

   Before, I wanted a lot of things. I wanted to get in touch with a lot of things. I wanted to get to know a lot of people. But now, I realised that "less is more". Speak little. Own little. With that, you get to appreciate the things present in your life a whole lot more. Know the essentials.

   One time, while deep cleaning my room (because dirt and random clutter is everywhere), I was thinking a lot about having less. I threw a lot of things that don't make sense. Things that aren't extremely compelling. I promise you this, it's better to be roomy so you could vent out positive energy.

++

 Stay hydrated and healthy (mentally and physically) :)

( i don't own the photos at the start of the blog. all credits goes to the owner)

1. practising totality

hi beautiful people !

I want to talk about "totality". I consider my life as a privilege; everyday is a new opportunity to be a better person- live in the moment, live like there is no more left.

4 months ago, I was given a chance to join a musical play. I didn't know how much effort it would take to learn new songs and confusing choreography. I realised how difficult and time-consuming it was after a few practices- my mindset changed. The way I viewed the whole day rehearsals collective changed. I got tired in so many different extents.

Practices are pretty much done whole day.

I was delighted but my fascination throughout the day isn't as prevalent as the first few hours- it's how I do things. I do it with a happy face but then after a while I get worn. It made me realise that I have to practise discipline- sit down, inhale-exhale, think about it and finish the task.

It was at the last few rehearsals when I was bursting it off- going at it fullspeed. It's nice to remind ourselves that walking ,sometimes, in a sense, won't get us anywhere. If you have the chance to, give your best shot!

3 days back, my school was able to present the play successfully.

me at the dressing area

If you have my problem, it is best dealt by looking at the bigger picture and not on the little details- it's not simple, I know. But push yourself. Learn to acknowledge not only the things that make you want to back out but also on the things between the lines.

//

take in take out

simple as that

take out

the unhappy 

the distractions 

take in

the fresh new 

air

take in take out

i'm insane (sort of) (i guess)

Hi all!

I've been thinking a lot about my own headspace lately. I have been very unaware of the goings-on around me and have become much lazier! I feel an immense amount of guilt not doing anything for the past days. I am slightly anxious and a bit all over the place really. 

sigh sigh 

"it will pass, it will pass" I tell myself.  

It's important to encourage ourselves not to worry about what happened before or what's going on next because it's a journey to the present. Look now. Do now. Learn now. 

Rough times are rough. 

UGGGHHHH I wish I'm a fish instead

I was eating by myself not very long ago (about a week back). Seeing everyone minding their own businesses and talking and giggling made me think so deeply about my surroundings. How everything was there for a reason. All of us are looking for  the purpose of our lives. All of us no different from each one. The only thing that separates us... perception. I was getting that sense of quiet in the midst of my loud brain. I was getting a bit sweaty since I was eating hot soup causing me to regret it more and more. 

There is approximately 7.3 billion people on earth. Can you imagine that? It's a little nuts isn't it??

(think about that) (no, really think about it) 

Much like how I picture myself inside. NUTS. Every piece of me was drawn to think of how I live, think and look. 

I'm pretty good at personhood. jk 

My belly was all warm inside. I stood up got some water and was dragged back again thinking about relevance and ways to get out of my bubble. I sat there waiting waiting. More waiting. But nothing. I have found nothing. No scraps of idea. No nothing. 

And now, I'm here, Writing this blog. Keeping myself close to my thoughts as if I'd finally find answers to my questions. Floating across the room. Picking brains and eating nuts. How ironic. 

I hope you lil sweetness find your purpose. I might be overthinking. I'm losing my brain cells. Anyway, Have a great day ahead. Tomorrow will be another battle with ambiguous thoughts. Shine bright ! 

(not mine! credits to the owner of the photo)

happy organic hippie

"keep a goal and never stop". Since the start of this year, I've been really into self-discovery. I told myself to be more aware of the things happening around me as well as the things going on in me. I've said before that I change quite a lot of times. Be it the way I speak, the way I dress and most especially the way I think.


//Most of us seek for fresh starts and clean slates. And I'm no different. I just want clear skies and happy days.

breathe in 

breathe deep

no need to be in doubt

no need for those frowns

unimaginably clear

unfathomably content

moments so precious

smile like never before

breathe in

breathe deep

[FEEL GOOD; feb 17 2k15 tuesday 19:26pm]

3 minutes ago, I lost all of my files and I feel terrible because I saved so much documents in there and I can cry now :( I'm so sad. BUT I can't do no nothing about it. Please remind yourselves that you can always make, create, write, save and do something new. Sigh. AT LEAST I AM STILL ALIVE... even if a huge part of me decided to leave. Oh whale. 

Here are some things to be happy about instead 

"I feel so anxious and worn. I'm emotionally confused" "I'm here for you" SOMEONE CARES

Cute fishes you wish were humans 

so much places to explore, so much pugs wearing lil outfits 

so much cats.... lounging 

Your backbone!! never gives up on youuu ♥ 

no matter how many times you have given up today, there will always be ice cream 

and songs that can change your mood in an instant (e.g. the middle by we the kings) 

---- Be happy you guys. Love you a lot :) You can do it 

extra enchantments +++

today I'm feeling upbeat to talk about something serious. mental health. there is a huge percentage of this world that is under the rule of our own stigmas. this is something that interests me because I have gone through so much panic attacks last year and I know how tough it is to fight against what we feel. see, I was aware of what it does. it takes all of our good qualities in exchange for a negative inner landscape. it seems unfair doesn't it? though, you cannot blame someone who is experiencing a mental illness. it's a really hard state wherein we couldn't see why we should be living anymore and it causes us to implode. 

we keep it. we avoid it. we hide it under the rug to make ourselves believe that it's nothing. but it's never gonna go away. if you runaway from your problems it could be difficult to manage it the next time it comes. and yes, there is a next time. it's inevitable. it comes and goes. but if you don't do anything about it then you will be trapped over and over and over again.

our mental heath affects our emotional, psychological and social well-being. it shows how we handle it through the way we act. with all of those pains and tears we lose sight of our full potential. we don't finish tasks. we don't move. we get stuck. 

I was startled when I realised how drained of a person I was.

I WAS AT MY WORST STATE. 

I WAS GAINING NOTHING BUT SAD EMOTIONS. 

----and I knew it wasn't right. 

and finally, when all of my tears were dried up and when I pushed my backbone to help me up once more, I told myself that I was created to do something. like how we were all made.
we are here, right now, to be make a difference.

and not long enough my Realisation, I asked myself for a way to get me out. I know for a fact that only I can control what I'm feeling. I decided to heal myself. but it's not just some kind of healing. it's a healing from the inside.

we should start somewhere deep. 

struck our cores and every single fiber. 

I know how immensely sad it could be to have such feelings running through our veins, like a stray animal. infectious and tragic. but there is always a light that will shine. a spark that would turn our sight back. it is such a delight and I want you to experience it.

after that, damn. you'd see changes. happy changes:) good luck ! walk well <3


just relax. you can do it, dear. indeed ! 
flourish flourish flourish
breathe breathe breathe 

we are a Community

hi guys !! this is one of those "update" blogs I do rarely. And it's nice to just talk to you about random things happening at the moment. first of all, I want to apologise for the long absence (hehe). but I'm back in the route, i tell you !. I was a bit kerbobbled last year with all the schoolwork and sometimes, I really can't think of anything to talk about and blogging became a chore to me. and let's be real, chores are such a pain in the back. But anyway, I came here without any plans at all. I just really wanted to Talk.

[few of the things I'm doing]

-I recently added this "chat" thing in this blog so we're able to talk as one. you can also share some stuff there ! photos, cliparts and Stories. I want to say though, be careful on what you share on the internet. please, avoid sending irrelevant things. I want it to be beneficial and profitable for everyone to enjoy :)

this is us, plant-o friends

- I have been active again on tumblr. I took a break from it, dunno why, but I made some changes over there. you can check it out, sectionragbag.tumblr.com <3

-I started drinking these chewable vitamins, which I completely hate. it tastes like grass. it's probably just me but yes, vitamins are good, drink em up.

-SO, school wise. well, still hard to frazzle with. all the notes and hard topics. oh man. this year though, I am starting to study World History. I think it's necessary. I really love all the Wars, revolutions, agriculture and just the people from our history.

-I was able to eat cookie cereals. I love them. makes me drool.

-tell me what you guys think of the whole blog right now. I hope you guys like it :) I finally, wrote something in the "about" page !! sweet stuff yeay.

-see you latter ! :D

a hidden agony

contributing sincerity towards a person is one of the most unparalleled kindness ever. while I was scrolling through my twitter feed I saw this one that said "here's a cool prank: be kind to people". it impacted me, weirdly, in a good way, and I checked myself with a question "are you kind?". I couldn't answer. because as much as I want to call myself compassionate towards others, I really don't see me being so which, is terrible and wrong, I know. I stopped, naturally, because I wanted to be. I'd trade my intestines to be humane. the rest of that day was a blur but I remember the atmosphere being compelling. I knew that kindness is something I have to apply in my life to be genuine and sincere. I was woolgathering. I didn't like the thought of me being the complete opposite of kind. I wasn't like the person who does random acts of kindness out of choice. I was the one who completely ignores the importance of it. 

## 

now, a new year has begun, I realised that I should probably start showing kindness by simply giving a pleasant countenance. 

A smile. 

A helping hand. 

because, honestly, not doing so is a bad setup. in my opinion, kindness would outlast any source of wrong. it would be a tough nut to kill. 

have you ever thought about those who start making Stories about their interests and experiences and them be, saying "sorry" everytime? with much wonder, I see the pain because certainly, they feel so Little that sharing their desires would cause boredom and immense disturbance to those who're listening. might be because when they tried sharing before and got cut off by "nobody Cares". how tragic is that? frankly, I think those are the kinds of people who need the tender hearted. show them kindness so for Once, they'd feel a worth in the world. a light that would turn the shadows of darkness in them to noonlight. 

start today :) make a change :) 

2015. the year

!!! 2014 flew by so quickly. And to be completely honest, I felt the most of it in the last few months. I became the most serene and my mind was at the clearest. I was taken aback and looked through all the things I have done. the year 2014 was delightful despite all of my hardships and tears. Above all of those were, happiness, contentment and freedom. I call it the year of self-discovery. It isn't the place of anybody else to understand us completely by ours.

The first months got me pretty sick. I felt underappreciated and uninteresting. The mid parts did the same and I pretty much shared a lot about my anxiety problems and dysfunctional mindset, but really, I was a sad person. I tell you, most of the times I really just wanted fresh air but couldn't even breathe any. I started to realise a lot of things like my polluted headspace and the way I live my life. I soon dismantled, gradually, from all the unwanted emotions and tried, as much as possible, to grip unto something. That something was a realible constant, a friend and an enchanted Buddy. None other than, Christ.

For me, in my head, I don't know what my life is about. I don't know and I will never know what's coming next. Around the month of October, I saw how majestic and sovereign the Lord is. The adventure with Him is the best ever. I know that even if I have the potential to go wrong, He'll never leave me. And that's true love.

So, eventually, every good thing has to end and in this case, 2014.


2015. let's all keep the energy :) Happy new year, lil daisies with eyes.

treasure the moment, it passes by rapidly.

new starts are always good.

consistency is somethings to

practice. feel the universe guiding you.

 notice every signs.

you are here for a purpose and not

by coincedence