(((murderous glance))) so... how's life

 My primary look for everything turns out to be an unwelcoming face. I don't actually get in touch with a crap ton of people. I like hanging out with those who I deeply know but I also enjoy learning about different people with different prospects in life. But the thing is (my struggle, perhaps) I don't make much expression towards their stories that excites my soul a bit more than what my outside appears to end up looking like. And in my case, an uninterested frog. So the internet, an reliable portal,  can amazingly turn me into an interesting person. Because, literally, right now, I'm making no expression.... help.
What I try to do is to make my words or rather, response happy or at least well connected towards the opened topic. I do believe that our faces make a huge part with the delivery area but at least when I jump in with words perfect for the particular topic then I'm PARTIALLY doing an okay job. I would very much so agree that I look like a person who has awaken with much bitterness (not that, I do-- lol). I'm just so terrible on this area, really.

nugget 3.

If you ask a person how they're doing, is it a nice gesture or not?  

If you tell a person a very important personal experience that covers your innermost being, do you think they care enough to see where your ambient darkness is coming from?  

If you say you're a broken window pane put together by weak bonds of tape, do you expect them to be your glue instead? 

If you read the newspaper do you cringe of how wars are being bound to create themselves or do you overanalyze things that you start the riot yourself?  

If you state an opinion do you do it through your computer and silently post it through social medias or do you orally blurt it out? 

If talking to someone in person is the real type of communication why bother call? 

If you try to build an authentic constant you do know that it won't break easy because it's backed up by your own solid thoughts right?  

If you count the stars are you that determined to find a brand new way of living instead backsliding to the old vitality of your general disposition?  

If introspection is good why do you feel bad? 

If you're not feeling well why aren't you doing anything?  

If the world is too sucky and bad and full of dirt why not try to clean it out? 

If you hate on people does it make you feel good about yourself that you think you're highly lifted up by your words bouncing in the person's mind causing him to break? 

If you cry and wipe your tears does that mean you're done with the pain your feeling and you want to see the sun shine instead? 

If you become neutral doesn't that make things brighter and less suck? 

[know yourself and what you stand for. everyone of us lives a life in a way no one else would understand fully. ask yourself things that makes you uncomfortable. learn to be a good person. judging others by what you, alone, can see is selfish. it's no good. it's wrong. rethink, rethink, rethink before you do something you could regret sooner or later] 

current obsessions /////// (gaging my favorite intestines)

I am here to present, to thee, my very recent interests

1. Tumblr

sunshineyriptide.tumblr.com

2. Ancient Greece and Medieval history 

3. Art journals

4. Puffy cats

5. Plant/flower shops

6. B**** (bagel)

"look at the beauty of life and be happy"

Tell me what you guys are digging today,

   I 

         have

                  a

                       curious

                                  soul 

nugget 2. !!!! stained shirt at the back of the closet

admittedly, I was taken a bit of time to wholly build a thought pyramid that will truthfully oppress the less complex spirit in me [ghost formality]. the idea is to make Sense. find a contextual source that will leave a mark on at least one individual. to be honest, we've all been touched by something in a way that we desperately observe every single movement until we leave it behind and vow to create our own Anthem. my view on things dramatically changes every four-six months, so I'm up for introspection every day. it just really depends on my hopeful reinventions to marginalize my minor crises, consensually. 

as a little kid I always see my grandma sweep and clean and polish every furniture and such. prior to that, I was always compelled to seek and touch (I have curious hands) the house for things I find interesting and play with it. and so one day, I was climbing this rather large cabinet in the closet and found a used clothing of .some sort, with a stain. leaving that information down (quite boring), I go on forth searching for something else. 

"the aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance," -Aristotle

for starters, well that doesn't make sense at all. it was just a shirt. but it does. everything was made to make sense. you just have to read between the lines of your own thoughts until you finally have something out of the thing you thought was "nothing". see, it's all about appreciation here in this context. 

it's sad how remarkably made a thing is and nobody ever notices the beauty. sometimes, the things we think has nothing to do with us is involved in a very large part of someone else's . and that doesn't mean we should stop and not care about it. find significance for it and make use of it. 

*p.s "wave segment" is where I share most of my feelings down (v personal)

SERIAL STRANGER

As far as living goes, I never enjoyed speaking very deeply to another individual. Though, I think it would be nice, it's just that I haven't experienced it and I prefer small talks. But then, again, I like those serious conversations about society or whatever spills out of my mind which, pretty much, can only be attained with the help of time. Long time. Is it me or this blog // update sucks? I'm sure you ain't here for some lame story telling about my life and you want something entertaining. So my point is, I've always been this stranger to everyone.  I may have met hundreds of people and shook thousands of hands but none of which I actually conversed "deeply" with. If you feel the same then welcome to club. I am a serial stranger and I don't mind. 

It is no secret that I stay by myself a solid ninety-seven percent of the time. 

I hope you lil gooses know that being alone isn't lonely at all. I have at least five different spirits hanging with me each day! Trust me, it's way fun observing. Now I'm not saying that you should rid yourself -----from everyone [I have physical friends, I know you do too] okay. I just find it so odd how in this generation a huge chunk of beings believes that popularity is important. Nah uh. 

Enjoy yourself and you're good // sooner or later, random living creatures will come up to you because they think you're cool in your OWN way. 

----- goodluck silly gooses, love you

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, and ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God

nugget 1. daisy chains

“It's harder to pick and choose when you're dead. It's like a photograph, you know. It doesn't matter as much.” -Neil Gaiman

More often than sometimes, I wish for the sun to come out. Everytime I sight the bright big ol' thing, I feel like my little pieces could finally find their way back to me. Because I'm a broken window pane. Those pieces explicitly show my stubborness and flimsy side which causes me to break even more. I wish to be spineless. For it will set back to finest and happy moments of my life (i guess). I can remember, very vividly, that I was just this little girl delighted with the little things. So innocent and so fragile. So gone.
(throwback to a happy 9-year old self) /// many sighs ago)


I begin to become sorrowful and I overthink my actions. Self-conscious about the way I breathe. I wanna be connected to people I know, for sure, would accept my flaws. And see me as that little girl. But what if I'm too covered up with dirt? Is it possible to revive my vanish self?

----------------------------------------------------------

I'm a girl

beginning to move

farther  and  farther 

to the ground

I'm a girl

lost and free

like flowers that bloom

slowly

I'm a girl

searching for something

deeper than the ocean

I'm a girl 

who walked away 

tenderly

to find significant

constants

I'm just a girl

*source: http://the-englishroses.tumblr.com/

--------------------------------------------

James 1:22

But be doers of the world, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves

H A P P Y H A P P Y H A P P Y

Hello readers! SPOILER:  Life is full of inevitable misfortunes and sadness. Being depressed isn't the best feeling in world.

I'm sure most of us have experienced being super down. But those things are expected. I don't know anything about your life but I know for sure that sometimes, we tend to be "just tired" of everything we encounter. There are times I fail to handle my situation and breakdown to tears. It takes so much effort to push myself to walk forward. I'm not much of a 'happy' person. But I try to be positive. I like to feel light about things and just free. To be happy doesn't require anything than a smile, just one positive thought can turn your day around!

*the source

There is a large amount of reasons why you should be happy. Here are ten things I thought about:

one; still (or barely) breathing but still alive :)
two; the sky, it will not let you down (look up!) '
three; the rest of nature---trees, oceans, everything is there for you
four; FOOD
five; beautiful sound waves (songs)
six; mornings, the feeling of waking up to start again
seven; little things, cold side of the pillow, cold shower on a hot day, fresh flowers
eight; oh oh, roadtrips :)
nine; writing down your thoughts on a journal
ten; long walks and talk with God ♥

Whenever I feel that everything is falling apart, I find it helpful to call unto God. He is always present in our lives. But because we're so blinded by sadness, and worldly temporal things we fail to see Him. His love is unending and He will never let you go, no matter the times you run away, you can always count on Him. He'll be there :)

Be happy, okay? Promise? :)

Aaaaaand I'm Back, Sort Of

guys! i’m so back on the writing mode and i feel really happy about that!

i’m so pumped for next week because as i’ve mentioned before on my ‘summer goals’ blogpost, i will be blogging more often especially because i am almost finish with school. we were suppose to pass our portfolio this week but we forgot that out consultant, is only available every thursday and that’s today but it’s a holiday (independence day) here. so my studying was rather extended until next week. yeah. very unfortunate but it was quite a relief for me as well knowing that we actually haven’t done anything! 

i apologize to you guys because i don’t think i’d be able to blog anytime soon (i’m actually sneaking right now, shhhh). nevertheless, i still want to write something and somehow fulfil my promise? is it working? huh? 

life’s going great for me, to be honest. i’m extra excited for next school year since i’ve learned lots of things from this year not only academics but about my character. i know now the things i'm very willing to change, social media addiction, included. i'm working on lots of great blogs but really have short time to write about it. i will be posting a new scheduale for my blog soon. hopefully, before the start of next week. i will not be able to visit my blog for only this time. i'm still working on my portfolio that i need to pass on thursday. so please pray for me. wish me luck too!

thank you for the very kind understanding. i will miss you guys (computer friends). here a very huge cyber hug! i love you and i hope to see you soon. 

06/15/14
11:40am
"you are
blessed to bless 
others" 

goals for the summer

hipster lighting, yaass!

so if you live in the Philippines you'll know that Summer starts in March and ends in May. well it's June and i'm still studying. such a beautiful experience right here. because i'm homeschooled and i'm pro at procrastination i wasn't able to finish early. but hey surprise! today, i felt like sharing  my Summer goals. I do have like two week break from school (not sure if i'll make it). i don't want it to just waste away so i thought of three amazing and magical things i want to accomplish. 

first i want to make this summer (ish) fun and full of adventures! as a reckless blogger teen, i can say that i spend majority of my time, each day, indoors. and because i kinda like changes (notice the word "kinda") i told myself to go outside and meet the sun and be besties? yeah. 

second to be a summer deity! wow so cool, not gonna happen (mehehe). the real goal though is to still study and not forget about the things i did for the past year. "julia, what?" you might ask. well, not really study all day but still educate myself but not the "academics" part. more on things i want like drawing and html because i suck at those. 

third and last is to blog more! woohoo! for the longest time, i wanted to do this and now (not now but next next week) i can do it. i'm so ready to slay the blogplanet and murder my keyboard out of typing (woo! imagine that.). 

that's it. i hope you guys are having a lovely summer and i will see you again soon. 

06/05.14

\\15:23pm

"enjoy things 

and eat froyo,"- me

Pathetic Fallacy

Majority of us believe that we all have limits which is true; however, some people think it's funny to say or do things that are not even worth it but they do it anyway because they think it's cool. My main idea here is that, yes, we are capable of doing whatever we want but make sure you know when you crossed the line already. There are an average amount of people who are not completely aware when it's too much. "Oh let's trip this girl and then laugh out loud and share it to the world.". I mean, seriously, that's just way too far. Know that. Getting yourself into something you believe in that you know that's wrong and offensive, get away from it. It'll do you no good. So do yourself a favor. 

"Be a bad person so you won't think of other's happiness before yours," This flabbergasts me. It's terrible knowing that this is what we get from our planet today. Full of negativity and I can't take that. Bros, come on. Let's not go there and risks our lives because it's what the a large portion of the world does. Do what you want but know your borders. 

 I'm a person too and I make mistakes but we have to keep in mind the things we are about to do. Think about it first before actually doing it. I know this might not be done overnight but just take time to let that sink it and do apply it. It will change your whole perception and view of point. 

Nonetheless, I shall go now. I have a spaceship to catch. See you next time, pals. 

 Tuesday 06/03/14

 \\ 15:31pm

"Close your eyes and

pretend it's all a bad dream,"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Throwing A Hello To You

Hello

Today was rebooted by me having nap just because I felt like it.

If you haven't noticed yes, I'm not done yet with school. 

I AM ALMOST and the feeling is beautiful. 

Although, I'll be back for school on July which is not that bad. 

To be completely honest, I'm just writing and just giving my brain a little

swing to somehow express whatever I feel inside. 

So I apologize if this is a bit jumble around.

My last blog post was legit nonsense, can we just. 

And I want to really blog a lot but I just couldn't.

I know I have promised a bunch of times, most probably

you guys are sick of it, that I'll post more but there's is so much 

happening and I'm overwhelmed. 

Anyhow, I want to visit and just glance and say

that this blog is a blessing for me. All of you who gives time to read it.

I'm very happy.  Seeing you guys appreciating whatever I do for

just couple of minutes, is beyond awesome. 

Thank you. 

Good day! 

See you guys, soon. 

"Have a walk under the stars," 

things to do before/during/after you read (girly)

Here are some things I usually do when I read. Enjoy!

1. Lean on to something hard
because you never know. you'll always need a friend and a companion 

2.  Wear floaters
oh. you'd be drowning with feels so get your gear

3. Practice heavy breathing (do this before)
pretty self- explanatory. things occur in books in time we least expect it. 

4. Hold the book tightly and be aware
you don't want to end up flinging a book on other people's faces when something comes up

5. Stay up all night
they say, you gotta watch your sleep. your body clock will be messed up but this is war between feels and everything else. choose the feels.

6. Thank the author for having such a rocking mind
enough said.

7. Be a part of the story. Talk to the protagonist.
this happens, a lot. just talk it through. he'll understand you.

8. Cry, weep like a cat
this is optional. nah THIS IS FOR REAL. you gotta let that tears fall sometimes

9. #Ship
well, i'm good at this. i pair characters most of the time and  it's pretty fun. don't you dare tell me you've never done this because you know that you have

10. Enjoy and be happy
finally! just smell the pages and be totally obsessed with the story cause it's amazeballs!

Totes! Love you! Hope you had fun more than I did while writing this heck of a thing.
***Also, this list is a joke. But it happens in real life. I mean, come on. I don't have more things to say but I'm sorry for the way I wrote this post for those of you who hated it, I'm very sorry.