triad

I.

even in the midst of people passing by 

it would rather stay and revisit a hidden trauma 

to ponder, a lot, thinking, "may this be the last 

you'll ever see me." 

I picked up the pieces I believed were mine 

stitched up under one of my hands, carefully structured, 

are rusted musical instruments playing for free 

engineered to awaken something in everybody 

but not one wounded would turn up even during 

the weekends

I suppose this was not as loud just yet 

I never had anybody who'd choose to be a moth 

riding on the back of a doe with me 

and stare only, single-mindedly, at the stars 

that wasn't made for us

sit and finish the murky lake's highly anticipated 

dramatic work for the stage 

there's nothing grand about it 

but it changes my anatomy with its command of 

language and grace  

carrying me fervently, violently, gently 

until I couldn't recognize the difference

II.

twenty years later, that brings us to now 

making friends as an adult and the only thing 

that could calm me is the sound of the printer, printing
pictures that my eyes are too small to truly parse 

back in the nineties where it's always morning, 

even in the afternoon, you were my kid wonder 

I still have your speeches 

memorialized monologues about time machines 

and leaving lasting legacies; I put my head up 

surmising something must be right cause I now know
what is wrong 

I can tell it apart and painstakingly refine it until it
can seamlessly be honorable and legitimate 

indeed it is wrong 

because the truth is simplistic and unembellished 

I'm fumbling to pull together fragments of what used 

to be what kept me afloat, maybe 

it's time to give it up 

times are changing and so are we 

III. 

I gravitate to a wall, where I go to be seen 

or even talk, I forge a new normal (better to be 

pursued during New Year's Eve or when you're quarantined) 

behind closed doors, it is You and my longing heart 

a world that is between boundless oceans and matters-of-fact

in my reckoning, I am exceedingly glad

the treasure that I found is beyond the reach of decay 

redeemed from the traditions of this perverse 

generation and the last; a better word was spoken 

that I must now play the noblest part; join the remnant

now is the time

this is the beginning stemming from the Cause that 

created my restored lungs to grow in the uphill climb

that was inquired for earnestly from before;

their services aren't meant 

for themselves - they were intended for me 

a sobering truth that holds my hope and future 

I am coming home and I will bring

as many as I can back to Galilee