people reading in the tube

maybe it's a side effect of getting old
to find that my heart was endeared to intimate gatherings
with soothing background music; sophisticated solitary guitar
defined by honest conversations
fostering realizations into jars, floating like fire flies

people reading in the tube
furnished my understanding that there is tranquility
in the midst of disturbance

it's not just because it's Tuesday
nor it's about the fact that there is an exceptional sunset
sometimes it's just nice to look at the great scenery
don't matter what you'd be doing as long as you're doing it
yours truly

information fills the river more than it fills itself
I want to be immersed by it, oh all the days of my life
but some days can't be touched they remain uneventful; monochromatic
why are newspapers monochromatic?
please don't answer that
pay attention to what noises bring instead
don't be stressed
you got this
again
yours truly

prologue, parts 1&2, then the epilogue
thanks for listening
I'm nearing my stop; this might just be it
goodbye for now

everything

I'm broke
and getting more broke
it's not this that makes me sad
but the notions that I tend to create but
can't be
for I am too weak

the good and the bad
feelings are apparently quite mixed up
for what is it that I can bear what
the world might bring forth
I have no idea at all

I can look beyond the waters
but all I see are the blues
flooding and crashing down on
enormous rocks
splashing but never making a point
my feet are sinking under the sand
my head looking down
who am I
where am I
what am I doing

perhaps you could say
I'm lost
I wouldn't say that's a misjudgment
but I will nod
but be a dear and understand this
I give you the horizons
connoting all that I have been through
I'm at fault
and falling all the more
in my pit of faults

if my mind is to be made into an art mesuem, the most popular piece is this

I had a fight with the sea
"I don't know if ever anyone has ever looked
at me in a plain sight."
I could hear in the night the lapping
of the water with low sounds

I have known nothing
of all the many changes

words alone are certain good
dancing past me whirled
the great sea was young
raging at its own image
it was too soft

it never learned

but it continued on
with a silent assurance and quiet voice
in tune with waves it creates
pulling all the it touches back north

my mind is made of bumps and wounds
black and blue
searching for a congenial clue

this is the art of moving on, eventually

I am talkative when I write

hello, friends!

I am back from (the future) the cRAZY phase once again. I want to apologize quickly for my lack of presence over here. This is probably the 100th time I said that—I feel so ashamed!

Setting that aside, I've been really busy. AS IN the actual busy with school and all that. Whatever that means. Hahmkidding. I love learning. But lately, I've been slacking with schoolwork so So so I have to catch up. Like literally run towards my goal. For those who are unaware, which I take are all of you, I am in grade 9 (that pretty much just means I am a year late). We enrolled just this month and I have to finish ASAP. I want to be done by december but part of me says that's a little too soon that it would mean rushing. I don't like rushing school. If anything it's really the worst thing. But as my mom says, I got to submit my portfolio for my first-second (or maybe third) quarter on november. Also, I have to mention, I've been in grade 9 since may (we just didn't get to enroll). So on the here and now, I've been causing myself to accomplish much in each day that passes because I bet that's what I require myself to. Plus, I feel brighter knowing that I've accomplished something daily. As opposed to not getting anything done which is just hands down disappointing.

In terms of my writing, I actually never stopped. I am compiling poems and compulsively putting down my feelings on paper. I haven't been here around because I am having a hard time finding time to type in what I wrote or I'm just really lazy at times. I'm actually still contemplating whether I'd put up one of my poems here because I'm saving them for something. But I'll try to come up with something else to keep this blog alive. I'm running out of things to say since most of the more obvious happenings I write on my journal and others that have linear storyline I write as poems. Like guys, I haven't tweeted anything particularly clever or deep in a while because I feel like they've all been written already. And I hate repeating myself. You know my dream is to be a good communicator. But if repeating myself is the best way for people to get the point or in my case to get myself to really chew on what I just said then why not. But I really don't like being repetitive. It does show consistency though but my goodness, I can't even explain what I mean these days. But I think you kind of get it (I hope!). I will be keeping this blog updated, I don't want yoy guys thinking that writing is such a tenuous thing for me to do because I'd gladly do it anytime.

So on the precipice of my ever wandering mind, everything has been going neutral. I want to be back on the hype, to be honest. My days have been rapid and boring. So excuse me if I prattle so much so. Call me loquacious. Sharing is one of my things now. I really just want to get things going.

At the moment, as I've said, school stress is WAY above the surface. It's tuesday and I studied biology. I am in kingdom fungi. Much less diverse than the previous one which is the kingdom Protista. That kingdom gave me multiple headaches. Headaches over headaches. So imagine the fun. I'm grateful though because when I start thinking about chemistry it somehow eases the level of the pain since it is much much MUCH harder for me. I am learning the secret of being content day by day. One thing I feel pretty left behind with is that I don't have a microscope which is pretty essential in biology. But I'm pushing through without it. Fighting spirit is always needed in everyone's journey with academics! On the overwhelmingly brighter side, it's wednesday tomorrow. MY FAVORITE DAY. I can't really tell why I like wednesdays. I just feel like I'm balancing since it is sort of the "middle" day of the week. And I can't feel anymore prouder of myself when I see my wednesday of the week approaching. It's just a piece of mountain air.

In a few minutes it'll be 12am!

So in order for the rest of the things I wrote here, that has to do with time, to remain accurate I guess I would have to leave now. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. I will be back soon. Goodnight!

heads | continuous line

language of birds

i took a walk that morning
like i always do
i stood beside a steady lake and gazed
upon this hilarious queue of corvid
as this old lady threw pieces
of, i suppose, white bread on the ground
quietly sitting on a cruddy bench

i observed
like i always do
some of the birds would touch the surface
of the water

out of thirst, i thought maybe

and a small ripple would turn
into a small wave

i come home and sit
eat my almond butter toast
like i always do
for a split moment i bet i could fly
flap my made pretend wings against the
whirling wind

i towered on the top of the mountain
i saw the world beneath the white air
crystal blue water, green forests and
the scene between humongous grey rocks

i could've stayed but i left
like i always do

it's k

   Hi there, long time no see - I feel like I'm starting all of my posts that way, I'm sorry. This is going to be a post mainly just an upkeep for me to literally just dump whatever is in my head. Told you guys before that I will be doing this a lot, I hope you don't mind. Ha. 

   Okay, starting off, I just want to address and take in to account that I think I'm like bearing a soul of 78 year old lady from the down the street because I have been taking naps quite often but then again it is my favorite thing to do at the moment and I'm not sure when it will be not. Ooops. Anyway, with that in mind, I am coming of from a brain that has been well rested but equally half awake. 

   If you haven't noticed it yet, I've been posting a lot of my poems and I will continue doing so. Lately, that's all I've been doing. Writing poems and writing poems. Every night. I haven't posted in while because (I actually have a reason) I am faster on my pen and paper and I get lazy to type it all up on the computer. Sounds like a petty reason but it's all you get because it's the truth, babe. 

  I drew a lot during the times I was gone over here. 

Okay, here's a story. 

Basically, my mother put up this magnet board on the wall of my room and it was super blank for weeks! I didn't exactly liked it at first because again, it was just too empty but my feelings sorta overturned or something like that. I stick my art on there and I am actually beginning to like it. After all this time, I've finally grew to understand it's purpose for existence. 

   Here's another story - this one is rather daunting.

I want to talk a bit about school. Believe it or not, I value my studies a lot. But I've came to the realization, with the crushing weight of reality, that in order to say that you "value" something, well, it has to show. Valuing something comes along with immersing amount of effort. I must admit, I do not do that with my education. And it sucks because though I want to value it, I would also have to take into importance that I must persevere and constantly find motivation in doing my schoolwork. For those, who aren't aware, I am homeschooled. I am in grade 9, hopefully turning grade 10 by December of this year. I've asked a few of my churchmates for prayers which is great. So, as a result, I get super convicted whenever I use my time on some other stuff which is very dangerous especially when you start your day slacking off here and there. It's much harder to take a dive into studying.
    Third story is about anime. AHHHHHHHH. That is all - just kidding. I started coming back at it a few days ago. I'm trying to get through Angel Beats. My brother recommended it to me but there so many animes I want to watch but even before I started getting into it I told myself not to watch two at the same time. I sorta disciplined myself not to do so because I'm that type of person who gets confused over literally everything. If you're starting to watch anime, I gladly recommend Clannad. Tomoya's the best. Watch it and weep.
      Fourth and last story is about my sleeping patterns. And let me tell you that it's not doing good. Over the years, I think I've developed severe insomnia that triggers every now and then. It keeps me from getting my sleep even if I very much wanted to. There isn't really a positive connotation about it, AT ALL because it causes me to miss waking up early and fun fact, I am a morning person. Latterly, my body clock has been super messed up. Like it's actually a strange thing  if I know what time it is when I get up. And another thing, is that I tend to oversleep. My body is used to 12 hours worth of sleep. And I bet you know that that isn't healthy.

    I would like to share more about the happenings in my life but I'm pretty sleepy which explains the last bit of my last story. Hahahahhh. See you, homies. Have a good day!