Hi there, friends!
I learned that I've been squandering my time by focusing on the inessential things. So, I figured might as well write about it and find out some answers whence help could possibly be found.
I really desire to be more of an obliging fellow. It has been a thought resting in the back of mind and to be honest here, that is where I obtain life lessons and patches of constructive ideas that have the most potential to be beneficial. So, I lie in there most days. Even in my mind I'm lazy. Just. Great.
To be more willing to serve others means being selfless. The act of letting go of my own desires. I think being that is something that you have to step into first. Decide until it becomes your nature.
I feel like I haven't been paying attention to the way I respond to certain things especially now that I am at the point of my life wherein I know I have grown and changed. I know the things that I should do but it seems like the way I express it still has some catching up to attend to.
It's like the same crisis I contended with for a while for the past few months. And I genuinely learned a lot from that. And for now, I just really need to feel those things tingle in me and truly unravel.
I think now I have to really move on from the things that do not represent me anymore. Because I feel like I still am holding on to things that I know are ready to leave. Such as the fact that I am no longer supposed to not make my bed in the morning when I wake up or skip meals! It's incredible how I miss out on the basics and wonder why I ain't moving at the pace that I know I'm supposed to go.
So, pray for my dear soul as I attempt to break what routine created.
One more month and this year ends. It's surreal that 2017's already coming to a close. And my goals still haven't been met. I'm a little bit discouraged so, I really have to make the most of the remaining weeks of this year. Make something worthwhile.
In our youth church, we've been planning an event for Christmas. And we're about to do something different that we haven't done before; a skit. I can sincerely tell you how stressful it is. The worry is there because I am part of the people who'll be working behind the scenes and it's a privilege but at the same time a place wherein it definitely feels like you're carrying so much of it on your shoulders. There's script writing, casting and making sure of their availability, stage design, and overall root work. And what makes it even more fun is the time limit. We have to finish everything on time. I had a hearty talk with God about it because it discourages me how easily people would give up. And it reminds me of my own little strength and how I couldn't and will never accomplish anything through my own efforts. God reminds me that the pressure is not the many things I have to do but it resides on how I handle it. I always just have to remember that it's not about me or anything else but God.
I still worry when suddenly some people need to be pulled out of the cast or when they can't attend practices. It seems like I'm trying to do my best but everyone else is just doing the opposite. But it doesn't matter my circumstances or what I feel because it's God's promises that I am holding unto.
Writing Club. Well, I've been writing my short story and there are still some questions floating in the air that are still quite stuck there. Staring at me waiting to crush me or something. It's absolutely intimidating! But I am working on it and trying to just keep moving forward. I don't know exactly how I'm going to bounce and send my outline / introduction for I still am working on that. There is just too big of a plot hole that I have to figure out and once that's done, I'll update you all about it and give you guys a glimpse of the story.
Going back to my struggle with using my time on inconsequential things, I know what I'm supposed to do now. And that is to really pursue productivity. I've said that way too many times, it's hard to believe but I really have to do it now and stick by it. I'll be starting an actual bullet journal as well. So, hopefully that works out!
C ya later, alligator.
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